


Time for you to prove you're not a jackass anymore

by Artemis_Da_Fox



Category: Corner Gas, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Crack Fic, Crossover, Gen, Highschool AU, Oneshot, Oscar Leroy is a grouch, Song fic, basically just heathers the musical but with Oscar as Heather C, no beta we die like women, not as deep as most song fics are though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-12 22:43:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20572151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Da_Fox/pseuds/Artemis_Da_Fox
Summary: Life is tough for most of the students at Westerburg High. Heather Leroy is the exception.





	Time for you to prove you're not a jackass anymore

**Author's Note:**

> I'd recommend listening to the companion song edit here:  
https://youtu.be/fJNQS2PCeF4

You know, life could be beautiful! Well, maybe another day. As Veronica walks the halls of Westerburg High School she tries to avoid its many dangers. Jerks trying to smack away people's lunch trays, name-calling, it really doesn't end. Except for when it does. 

Her classmates fall silent as three familiar figures come into view. Heather Duke and Heather McNamara both strut down the halls with the grace and power of gods, but the person leading the group draws the most attention. Heather Leroy. 

Her aura of confidence draws the eyes of the small crowd that had formed. She stands tall as she gazes forward, her wrinkled, resting bitch face forever on. Her red blazer and pristine grass-green baseball cap shine brilliantly in the fluorescent light atop her balding blonde head. Her short skirt shakes as she struts into the girls' bathroom gesturing for H. McNamara and H. Duke to follow. 

The crowd quickly disperses when the bell rings to signal the beginning of fourth period. She begins to make her way towards the library to study and catch up with homework during her free period when she spots Ms. Fleming enter the girls' bathroom. Muffled talking comes from behind the door. She quickly glances around. The coast is clear. She knows she shouldn't eavesdrop, but her curiosity gets the better of her as she leans her ear against the door. 

"Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class." The muted sound of Ms. Fleming's voice calls from within the bathroom. 

Oooooo! Someone's in trouble! Ms. Fleming is known for her harsh punishments, so Veronica wouldn't be surprised if they got a weeks detention each. In a moment of genius, she pulls out some paper out of her pocket and scribbles some words on it. 

"Heather wasn't feeling well. We're helping her. Got that, jackass?" Heather Leroy is perhaps the only person who can make the word 'jackass' sound elegant. 

Ms. Fleming thankfully chooses to ignore the insult. "Not without a hall pass you're not. Week's detention," She replies. 

If Veronicas going to help them, now's her chance. She bursts through the door. "Um, actually, Ms. Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee." She hands her foraged note to Ms. Fleming. Heather Leroy scrunches up her nose at her. 

"I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going." With those words, Ms. Fleming grumpily marches out of the bathroom leaving the fake hall pass behind. 

"Your forgery isn't that bad," H. Leroy's compliment makes Veronica's heart soar. Her frown deepens as she squints at the note. "Who are you now, jackass?"

The sound of Heather Duke's vomiting coming from one of the stalls makes Veronica cringe, "Veronica Sawer. I crave a boon."

"What the hell kind of boon?" She asks, scratching her pale, wrinkly chin. 

"Um. Let me sit at your table, at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary. If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone," Veronica prepares for rejection with every word she says. How could some nobody like her compare to the majesty that is Heather Leroy? "Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes,"

Heather Duke calls out from inside her stall, "How about prescript-"

"Shut up, jackass," Heather Leroy cuts her off mid-sentence, "You know? I'll be damned if you aren't half bad," Veronica stifled the urge to correct her double negative, "I could even say you're like a cat. Beautiful. A beautiful cat. Ok," She waved her hand, "You can join us for lunch. Once."


End file.
